Check out old mate he’s like ‘I pledge allegiance to dat ass’
what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party
my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me
Why do we gotta die? Like I want to live forever but I want to keep the look I have now. I don’t wanna live forever and be old and dusty. I want to be young, cute, and 86,394 years old.
what’s the password
can we talk about jennifer anistons outfit here
if you hold an empty gatorade bottle up to your ear you can hear the sports
me owning the kangaroos at the zoo